Proposition Hate: The Fear of Gay Marriage
A man chases women until he finds one who allows him to fuck her, impregnate her, and thereby own her life. This is the essential meaning of marriage, if you strip away all the details about God and legalities and shades of moral do’s and don’ts. The chasing of women, the relentless pursuit, is what reveals marriage as the brutish and domineering thing it really is.
The fear of gay marriage must be closely related to the fear of dominant gays. Men, or dominant sex partners, no matter what sex, will be allowed to chase women, or whichever sex they target, that they see as submissive or open to being seduced. The idea of sex itself is drenched in coercion and male supremacy, and marriage is the codification of the essential underlying meaning of sex being about pursuing and winning. Putting this power into the hands of gays means allowing them the same privilege to openly pursue those who haven’t chosen to be gay but who can be had by the same mixture of cunning and force that men use on women.
It has taken me a really long time to even come this close to understanding the fear and outrage straight people feel about gay marriage, since I have a nature that has never really been comfortable with my given role as a predator. Once you see that the echos of rape resound throughout the entire construction of arousal and sexuality in a patriarchy, you stop being befuddled by the moral window dressing that they all use to disguise their unexplored fears and desires.
So the sum of my understanding of the fear of gay sex and marriage is this: If we let those gays openly marry each other, they can openly pursue anyone they want, and that means that gay people will start raping, owning and marrying straight people. The idea that anyone can rape and enslave someone is a subtle threat to male privilege.
I can’t help but feel awe about the unbelievably fine and delicate sensitivity of male privilege to the slightest threat from any side. For something that most people would swear does not exist, it certainly has a robust self-preservation instinct, even in the face of total emotional chaos, which is how I used to characterize the fear of gay marriage.
November 10th, 2008 at 12:44 pm
“Putting this power into the hands of gays means allowing them the same privilege to openly pursue those who haven’t chosen to be gay but who can be had by the same mixture of cunning and force that men use on women.”
Holycrap. You are so very right. Wow. I’m flabbergasted that I never realized that before.
November 14th, 2008 at 1:29 am
It’d be nice if you didn’t say “allows” in the first sentence, because the women you describe don’t actually have any power to allow or disallow.
November 14th, 2008 at 8:42 am
Advanced feminist truth from slythwolf. It’s the most difficult thing about gender issues, the communication of the idea that women don’t really have agency in a patriarchy. Many women are in denial about it, and I might be also. I appreciate the correction.