I’ve got this friend I call Feminist Fred
I’ve got this friend I’ll call Feminist Fred. He exists in my head, because I’m a man who has gradually come to accept and understand feminism as best I can. Many “true” feminists say that no man can ever be a feminist, which is something I’ve come to accept, so instead of pretending that I can be a feminist, too, I’ve invented Fred as a mouthpiece for all my attempts to understand and further the spread of feminism among men.
I had to invent several other men to populate this blog who don’t exist. Misogynist Mike, who thinks women are all stupid whores. Men like him are everywhere, and if you are one you can expect to be moderated into nonexistence on sight. But I will use his persona to illustrate the viewpoints of men like him, and show men like myself how we can slip into his ways of thought without questioning it.
Then there will be Pornsick Pat. Many a feminist male sympathizer will be much disturbed by seeing things he does and thinks are really good are also shared by this fellow. This blog will maintain a rigorous and firmly-held standard that pornography degrades women and that it also degrades men just as much, and will attempt to help men understand that this degradation is why they instinctively feel ashamed of consuming porn.
Lastly, we will have Your Nigel. This is the fellow who you date who could never be like Pornsick Pat and Misogynist Mike but who simply hides the truth from you because you could never date a guy like that and he knows it.
I will be posting on topics like rapists and those who defend them. The level of public acceptance of rape is getting to the point where it’s alarmingly close to being mainstream sex.
I’ll also touch a little on the topic of the beauty industry and examine it from the standpoint of how it creates a tendency towards pornsickness in men through constant titillation and how it creates and supports men hating women for not being as they should be, rather than from the more typical feminist viewpoint of how terribly oppressive it is for women.
I hope you like what I write, and if you don’t, let me know. I have a pretty thick skin. Comments will be heavily moderated, and might be a little slow - we shall see. Men who spew hatred of women will be banned. Men who think they know everything and want to argue until they have “won” will be banned. Women who do the same things will be banned if needed, but I expect this to be a safe place for women, and intend to keep it that way, even though the intention is to raise the consciousness of men who want to become more aware of the cruel and unsuspected effects of a misogynist world on their all-too human hearts.
October 3rd, 2007 at 6:02 pm
Came here via IBtP. Good luck with this venture!
May I suggest that Nigel is a little different than you’ve portrayed him? I know, because I’ve dated him on a number of occasions. Nigel does not go to strip clubs. Well, unless the guys “make” him, and then he doesn’t really enjoy it. He does not use porn. He reads things like IBtP, and likes them a lot — even quotes them approvingly. The only thing he has a problem is when his girlfriend tries to put into action any of the feminist values he appears to approve of. And not threaten to quit her job when she sees her employer discriminating against another woman because she’s not conventionally attractive. And he really, really wishes she’d consider wearing that pretty dress he saw. And not burp out loud. There’s nothing wrong with being feminine, after all.
That’s my Nigel.
October 3rd, 2007 at 6:03 pm
(Sorry — should have checked grammar & syntax after cutting-and-pasting, and before posting.)
October 3rd, 2007 at 7:55 pm
Bon chance, TP.
October 3rd, 2007 at 8:06 pm
That’s your Nigel, Notorious. He’s more of a Feminist Fred, isn’t he? I always wonder how much unconscious male privilege I display on any given day. It’s appalling for any man who wants to have a decent opinion of himself.
October 4th, 2007 at 7:45 am
I think there’s a distinction. My Nigel is only a feminist insofar as it doesn’t impinge in any way, shape, or form on his privilege or his ideas about how gender roles should work in his own personal life. He doesn’t see the disconnect. He likes feminist women in the abstract, but in reality, he finds them unsettling, and wishes they didn’t have to talk about it so much.
I can’t even provisionally apply the label of “feminist” (or even “feminist fellow-traveler”) to anyone, male or female, who refuses to speak up or take action for fear of rocking their own boat. As the kids used to say, they just frontin’.
October 4th, 2007 at 7:46 am
(Of course, I do concede: your blog = your Nigel)
October 4th, 2007 at 9:22 am
I really enjoy your intro.
Good luck! I’ll check back for updates.
October 4th, 2007 at 10:36 am
I bookmarked IBtP a while ago, and have bookmarked this as well. I’ve visited IBtP daily (and expect to check this frequently) and, though I’m worried about the distinct lack of Twisty lately, I’m interested in reading this, too.
Hopefully I’ll get to read updates from both of you, soon. I’m looking forward to the prospect!
October 5th, 2007 at 7:33 pm
Thanks for starting this blog TP! Looking forward to reading.
October 8th, 2007 at 9:53 am
The audience for this blog is men…how are they gonna get here? We should make sure to direct trolls from other feminist blogs.
I think Notorious’s Nigel might be better named Exceptional Edgar. Ive met and dated him. He generally thinks hes Exceptionally smart, exceptionally enlightened, and remains the exception when it comes to doing the dishes/laundry/emotional work of a relationship. And if you do point out the problems with his behavior he is exceptionally surprised and generally recalcitrant.
October 8th, 2007 at 9:54 am
I thought feminist fred wasn’t supposed to be any actual person, just the fictional representation of what a male feminist, if such a thing existed would be like.